PMDD Stories: What Made You Realize You Had PMDD?

Many women and AFAB individuals with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) go undiagnosed for years, struggling to understand the intense physical and emotional symptoms they experience. We asked our community members to share their stories about how they realized they had PMDD. Here are their powerful and eye-opening accounts.

Recognizing the Symptoms

“I was 15 and having a breakdown on my bathroom floor. My mom was the one to notice that it was in line with my cycle. She herself suffered with PMDD and was able to help me make a list of all my symptoms. Shortly after, I went to my gynecologist and was diagnosed. I’m 19 now and still learning new things about PMDD. I’m on birth control to manage my symptoms.”

Finding Patterns

“I realized I had PMDD when I would ruminate, become angry and upset, cry a lot, experience exhaustion and brain fog, and struggle to string a sentence together. I even wanted to admit myself to the hospital each month. It was only after five years that I noticed a pattern: this would occur two weeks before I bled, and once I did, I spent the next week picking up the pieces of the chaos around me.”

Online Research

“I read an article about PMDD, and it was a real lightbulb moment. It took two decades to get a diagnosis after years of self-harm, suicide attempts, and basically becoming a monster. I have lost many friendships, missed family events, and got into debt trying to compensate those who stuck with me. For me, the suicidal ideation gets worse over time, and I’m trying to deal with it. I’m lucky to have had an amazing GP for 25 years, and we’ve learned a lot together.”

Friends’ Concerns

“Once I went to college, made friends, and started dating, everyone was worried about me. They said I was like two completely different people depending on the time of the month and worried I’d attempt to end my life. That’s when I realized what I was going through was not normal.”

Monthly Breakdowns

“Breaking up with my partner every month or snapping at everyone around me until I convinced myself I’m always going to fail and should just give up. Every month.”

A Doctor’s Diagnosis

“My doctor finally diagnosed me after 10 years. I had no idea. I just thought I was dying every 28 days and that it was normal. Apparently, it isn’t.”

The Hell Weeks

“Each month, about two weeks before my cycle, it felt like my mind and body were being hijacked. My thought process, thinking abilities, and how my body operated shifted into a blackness I only felt during those times. Menstrual migraines that were medication-resistant, extreme bloating (often up to two sizes larger), suicidal ideation, intense food cravings, crying spells I had no control over. Then, a few days after my cycle stopped, so did all of that. Two lives in one month. Hell on earth.”

Overwhelming Lows

“The extreme, all-consuming lows around the same time every month felt like being hijacked by someone cruel and self-destructive. I knew that wasn’t who I am and that I’m very unwell at the same time every month. Since learning what it is, it’s become more manageable, and kindness to my unwell self has made all the difference.”

Therapist’s Guidance

“My therapist at the time saw the signs and symptoms and educated me about PMDD. We tracked my symptoms, and she diagnosed me. Had it not been for her, I’m not sure I’d even know about PMDD. She honestly saved my life.”

A Late Realization

“I had no clue I had PMDD until I was 23. I decided one day to check myself into the hospital due to an episode of suicidal thoughts. I’ve struggled with my mental health and extreme fatigue since I was 12 and finally worked up the courage to dig a little deeper into why. It was the best decision I made for myself. I now have a diagnosis and a fantastic doctor. I have since started my journey, navigating my life with the diagnosis. I am in the process of getting my hormone levels tested due to being on birth control for over a year to find a better treatment option. I can relate to everyone here with ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ mood swings. I always felt like a horrible person for not being able to ‘suck up’ or control my emotions. I have learned to be kinder to myself and communicate better with my loved ones during symptom flare-ups. I still have a long way to go, and my biggest struggle lately has been fatigue. I feel safe knowing there are people like me out there supporting each other and sharing their experiences for better awareness and understanding. I had no idea my hormones and cycle could make me feel the way I do, and I find comfort in having a reason. “

Conclusion

These stories highlight the challenges and struggles faced by those living with PMDD. They emphasize the importance of recognizing patterns, seeking professional help, and finding supportive communities.

If you suspect you have PMDD, know that you are not alone and that there are resources and treatments available to help manage the symptoms.