Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) that affects approximately 3-8% of women of reproductive age. Characterized by extreme mood swings, irritability, and physical symptoms, PMDD can significantly impact various aspects of a woman’s life, including her relationships.
“PMDD trashes my relationships for at least the latter end of the luteal phase” said a Belle Health community member. Both PMDD and PMS are premenstrual disorders that can significantly impact emotions and behaviors.
Understanding PMS and PMDD
Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) both occur during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. However, PMDD is a more severe form that affects up to 5% of women and AFAB individuals of reproductive age.
While PMS might cause discomfort and mood swings, PMDD symptoms include extreme mood changes, irritability, depression, and anxiety. These physical symptoms can be so debilitating that they interfere with daily life, including relationships with partners, family, friends, and colleagues.
Your body gives signals—this ring helps you decode them
How The Symptoms Affect Your Relationships
Emotional Strain and Communication Breakdowns
PMDD can cause intense emotional symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and anger, which often lead to misunderstandings and conflicts within relationships. Partners may feel confused or hurt by these sudden mood changes, not realizing they are tied to the menstrual cycle.
Encouraging open communication is key. Explaining how PMDD manifests and emphasizing that these mood swings are not personal can build empathy and understanding. If you’re unsure how to start the conversation, sharing educational resources can help your partner grasp the condition better.
Read more: How to Explain PMDD to a Man
Take control of your hormonal health, one symptom at a time
Physical Symptoms and Intimacy Issues
The physical symptoms of PMDD, including fatigue, bloating, and headaches, can affect a woman’s desire and ability to engage in intimate activities. This can create tension and frustration for both partners. Recognizing these symptoms as part of a medical condition rather than personal rejection is vital for maintaining intimacy and support in the relationship.
Moreover, fluctuations in libido or discomfort during intimacy might be linked to hormonal changes during PMDD. Openly addressing these issues and prioritizing non-sexual forms of connection—such as quality time or physical affection—can help maintain intimacy.
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Social Withdrawal and Isolation
Women with PMDD may experience social withdrawal during their symptomatic phase, leading to feelings of isolation. Partners and family members might misinterpret this behavior as disinterest or detachment. Encouraging social support and understanding the cyclical nature of PMDD can help reduce feelings of isolation.
Read more: PMDD Awareness Booklet
The Impact of PMDD on Relationships
Family
Relationships with family members, particularly parents, can also suffer. Another member recounts, “My relationship with my parents isn’t the same as they don’t understand PMDD at all, so there’s always a lot more arguments when I’m struggling with it.” The lack of understanding from family members can lead to increased conflict and emotional distance.
To improve familial relationships, it’s beneficial to educate family members about PMDD. This can involve sharing educational resources, attending counseling sessions together, or simply having open and honest discussions about how PMDD affects daily life. By fostering understanding, it’s possible to reduce the emotional strain that PMDD can place on family dynamics.
Friends and Colleagues
PMDD can also negatively impact friendships and professional relationships. For instance, a community member described how their relationships with work colleagues worsen during the luteal phase: “I cannot trust anyone and feel like everyone hates me.” This mistrust and irritability can create a hostile work environment, further isolating the individual.
In the workplace, it may be helpful to inform close colleagues or supervisors about PMDD if you feel comfortable doing so. This can foster a supportive work environment where accommodations, such as flexible scheduling or temporary workload adjustments, are possible.
Additionally, maintaining transparency with friends about the challenges of PMDD can lead to stronger, more empathetic friendships.
Partners
The stress of PMDD can lead to significant marital strain. One poignant example shared is, “Last month my husband said he can’t take this every 2 weeks. How does he think we feel? This disorder is the worst. If it ain’t suicide roulette, it’s divorce roulette monthly.” This statement highlights the extreme emotional toll PMDD can take on marriages, often leading to thoughts of separation or divorce.
Couples therapy can be an effective way to address the unique challenges that PMDD brings to a relationship. Therapists specializing in mood disorders can offer strategies to help couples navigate the emotional turbulence of PMDD, reinforcing the bond between partners and helping them work through conflicts that arise during the luteal phase.
What It Means for You and Your Partner
Navigating relationships with PMDD isn’t always easy—it requires patience, understanding, and the right tools to make it work. To dive deeper into this reality, we spoke with A.C. Kinghorn, author of Hope: A Guide to PMDD for Partners and Caregivers. In this interview, Aaron shares his personal experience as a partner, the challenges he and his wife Jude faced, and the strategies that helped them strengthen their relationship despite PMDD.
Get the book “Hope: A Guide to PMDD for Partners and Caregivers”
Coping Strategies for PMDD in Relationships
Open and Honest Communication
One of the most effective ways to navigate PMDD in relationships is through open and honest communication. Women with PMDD should feel comfortable discussing their symptoms and how they affect their mood and behavior with their partners. This transparency can lead to better understanding and cooperation in managing the condition.
Seeking Professional Help
Therapy and counseling can be beneficial for individuals and couples dealing with PMDD. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has shown effectiveness in managing PMDD symptoms by addressing negative thought patterns and behaviors. Couples therapy can also provide a platform to discuss relationship dynamics and develop strategies to cope with PMDD together.
For women who have experienced trauma, understanding connections between PTSD and PMDD may also reveal ways to improve symptoms.
Read more: PTSD and PMDD: How Trauma Influences Menstrual Health
Implementing Lifestyle Changes
Lifestyle changes can play a significant role in managing PMDD symptoms and improving relationship dynamics. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management techniques such as yoga and meditation can help reduce the severity of PMDD symptoms. Encouraging partners to participate in these activities can also strengthen the relationship.
Medication and Medical Treatments
In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage PMDD symptoms. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), hormonal treatments, and other medications can help alleviate both emotional and physical symptoms. Consulting with a healthcare provider to find the right treatment plan is essential for managing PMDD and its impact on relationships.
Check here our providers database: Find a Specialist
Read more: Hormonal Changes and PMDD During Pregnancy
Building a Support System
Creating a strong support system is crucial for individuals with PMDD. This includes not only the partner but also friends, family, and support groups.
Join our Discord Community: Belle Community
The Ultimate Red Flag Test
Not in a relationship? That doesn’t mean PMDD won’t impact your dating life. In fact, how someone responds to it might be the biggest green or red flag you’ll ever get.
You can try the “Hey, Just So You Know…” talk next time you’re getting to know someone new, like this:
“Hey, I have PMDD. It’s a hormone-based mood disorder that affects mood, energy, stress and how I experience the world. Some days I’m fine, and other days, I just need patience (and probably snacks).”
How they respond? That’s the test:
| 🚩 Hard Red Flags: | ✅ Green Flags: |
| 🔴 “That’s not real.” (Ah, a medical expert, I see.) | 🟢 “I’d love to understand more.” (OK, we like them.) |
| 🔴 “So you’re just super emotional?” (You should go.) | 🟢 “Is there anything I can do to support you?” (✨Elite behavior.✨) |
| 🔴 “You need to control your hormones.” (Unsubscribe from my life.) | 🟢 “I’ll look it up.” (Independent research? Big win.) |
Bottom line: If someone can’t handle the conversation, they can’t handle the relationship. PMDD isn’t a personality flaw—it’s just a reality check. And the right people will want to understand.
Conclusion: PMDD & Relationships
PMDD can have a profound impact on relationships, but with understanding, communication, and appropriate management strategies, couples can navigate these challenges effectively. By recognizing the symptoms, seeking professional help, and implementing lifestyle changes, individuals with PMDD and their partners can maintain strong, supportive, and loving relationships.
Read more: 10 PMDD Books to Empower Your Journey
FAQs About PMDD Relationships
How does PMDD affect relationships?
What strategies can help manage PMDD in relationships?
What is the difference between PMS and PMDD?
